Tales From The Bean

i brought the light...but, it's still dim where you are.

2011-07-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

i brought the light
but....it's still dim where you are.
not quite on...yet.
well maybe there are some bits and pieces being filtered through
into your dark corners.
i sit here thinking that from my vantage point...i see all.
knowing that this is not the truth.
pontificating between the ears.
the sun rises every morning...
awareness will dawn on both of us.
seeping into crevices wide and small.
softness of feeling.
leave the judgement behind...
if you must categorize me...and i, you.
remember love.
that's all i ask.
remember love.

m. :)

"S~Wonderful"

2011-07-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

i ask: "do i have a sense of entitlement about me?"

"No"...he laughs..."just a HOPE of one!!!" :)

"do you want to come over for dinner tonight?"...i ask.

"NO...I am having a tooth pulled tomorrow."...he reply's.

and so it goes.

"Hello"...

"Good-Bye"...

push...pull...directionless...is the obvious direction.

faith and surrender.

rudderless...or so it seems.

the owl or the mystro?

neither it would seem...for today.

they both are on ice.

chilly place to be it.

well...

for now...no more wisdom from the owl or songs from the mystro.

it's all good.

"chilling out" seems to be the course for this morn. :)

Amends From Childhood Friends.

2011-05-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

Catching me off guard.

These days because of Facebook and other types of social networking,

Old friends can find you.

Last week this happened to me.

Junior High happened many moons ago.

Today the memories are vivid.

Little girl lost was me.

Struggling to fit in.

Uncomfortable in my skin.

These reunions have brought up many emotions buried for years.

Revealing layers of the onion.

Unknown to my consciousness.

We are in the afternoon of our lives.

Mothers, Grandmothers, Grown Women.

Living life all these years without talking to one another.

Then in a matter of weeks:"BAM" we are catapulted into each others hemisphere.

Memories come flooding back with each communication.

Pictures of myself from this time of my life come flooding back.

For a moment I forget that yesterday is not today.

Aware of the time warp.

I proceed inward.

Descending through cobwebs,sticky places, uncomfortable feelings.

I navigate to find center.

Reflection is called for.

Aware of emotions.

Communication continues.

Emails, postings, pictures and prose.

Lighthearted at first.

To the point, after a while.

Both Women express regret for past actions.

I did not expect this.

It catches me off guard.

They want to talk on the phone.

I am not ready.

Yet.

Eventually it will happen.

I know myself.

Soon probably.

Childhood trauma one calls it.

Yes.

Understood.

More than they know.

"Will you forgive me?"

Of course.

I did a long time ago.

Can you forgive me?

This

Working

On.

With myself.

Little did I know how much baggage that was carried around from this time of my life.

What a gift to have this opportunity to heal things unknown to me.

"Social Networking"

It is called.

For

Me.

It's been part of my healing journey.

Blessings in disguise.

Chance

Peace

Within.

Amends from childhood.

Unexpected grace.

Divine

Artistry

Work.

Tweaking Strings and Things.

2011-05-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

Tweaking Strings And Things.

My day starts with clouds rolling in, from beyond the horizon.

Silently morning begins.

Heaviness permeates my physical body.

Sun is playing hide and seek with puffs of gray.

Wondering what will unfold today.

He comes in with offers of love and java.

Delightful

Say.

Is this my life?

Pinch me please.

Remembering past relationships.

This is a gift.

To be cherished and treasured.

Tweaking strings and things in the morning.

The afternoon of my journey.

After all the dramatic minuets.

Love

Trust

And

Respect.

Have returned.

Where the road leads next.

Unknown

To me.

This I know: Life is present moment. This is all we have.

Today

At this particular second.

I am grateful for the gift of my lover.

He sits in front of me.

"Tweaking Strings and Things"

I write these words.

Life

Good.